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TANIA'S BULLYING RECOVERY STORY

 
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I was always a different kind of kid. I seemed to be less social, more overweight, and less worried about my looks than others. In fact, even to this day, some of these attributes remain true though I now realize the importance of social and physical health. Due to the way I carried myself and the way some other kids were, I always felt like I was justified in the way I viewed the world; I felt as if everyone was against me and as if I couldn’t trust anyone. This view created a vicious cycle in which the way I viewed the world affected the way I carried myself and the way I carried myself affected how others treated me because I seemed weaker. Since my negative view caused me to see that I was being treated negatively, my view would become worse until I felt the desire to stop living by age 7. I saw no reason to be in the world and I saw no one who loved me. In school, other children would call me names and others would try to hurt me by either trying to fight me or taking my personal belongings. Some even wanted me to do their homework and threatened me to keep quiet. In school and at home, I saw no one that would take my side and I felt very alone.

By fifth grade, I was fed up with the way I was being treated and how much I wanted to avoid getting hurt. My attitude began to reverse and I started not caring; I just did not want to be treated the same. I wanted to be the bad one, the bully, the one who fights others just to show how strong I really am.  Luckily, when this bad attitude adjustment began, my family moved and I was able to start fresh in a different school and city. My view and some peers at school were still bad, but I began to have more friends and my view began to change a little more. I had a therapist who taught me that not everyone was the same and that good existed everywhere. From then on, I was saved from my worldview and the more people I socialized with, the more I realized that there IS happiness, that I CAN trust some people, and most importantly, that I am strong and no matter how many bullies I encounter in this lifetime, I can always find who I really am. I can always choose to be a good person and there will always be a group of people that support me.

What I would say to anyone that is being bullied or that has been bullied in the past is that:
  •    You must learn to love yourself for who you are and find your strengths even if there is no one around that can show them to you. As a child, that is a high task, but if I did it, then I believe anyone can. There will ALWAYS be people that actually care, but sometimes we are blocked to that opportunity if we have a thought inside our heads telling us the opposite.
  •    You should make sure you can find a friend whether inside or outside of school. A friend can always help us see a good side of ourselves even when good is nowhere in sight. They can also help us to have courage to stand up for ourselves.
  •    If you change schools, know that you can leave the past behind. You can be stronger in a new place and stop bullying before it even starts just by the expression on your face and the way you show who you are as a person and what your strengths are. If you see people around you that can hurt you, they don’t need to know that you have been hurt before.
  •    You don’t have to believe any negative words people tell you. Truly think about what is behind a bully’s words: their own insecurities. You never did anything to deserve an insult and only you know who you really are and who you can be. This may sound cliché, but it is a true saying: those words only have as much power as you give them.

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